Lyrics
And ye though I walk
Through the valley
Of the shadow of death
I will fear no evil
For I know that coronavirus
Is not evil
It’s a mindless biological agent
A tangle of RNA in a lipid sheath
That evolved to replicate itself inside of cells
Just as we evolved an immune system to repel it
This I know because of science
Folks in my section
Like askin’ questions
Takin’ measurements
Testin’ hypotheses
About how policy interventions
Limit the spread of infection
Natural selection, only game in town
You can find it any place a replicator is found
I’m DNA-based, and staycation-bound now
‘Cause there’s a new replicator in town
Takin’ the crown, RNA-based with a lipid shell
Soap can rip it apart, so give it hell
But just in case, update your living will
Shelter in place, regardless if you’re ill
Stay home! – Reduce transmission rates
When it’s too late to contain, mitigate
When there’s no universal test you can get
No contact tracing just community spread
Stay home!
Survival of the biggest introverts
Bend the curve, end the surge, revenge of the nerds
Who stay home!
‘Cause intuition is hollow
“Y’all need to listen to the models”
And stay home!
It’s not a hoax, not a joke
“This is their new hoax”
In November gotta vote
Stay home!
Let the message go viral
Instead of infection, it’s so vital
To stay home!
Stay calm, stay sanguine
We had some bad luck mutations in a pangolin
But I don’t give a plasmid about who first brang it in
I just wanna see how administrations handle it
And buy time to develop a vaccine
In a year, maybe two, optimistically
COVID-19, nobody’s immune system works
Anyone can get it, from Prince to Prime Minister
So, be careful where you get your info
On Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome
SARS Cov 2, this is just the intro
You can reduce fatalities tenfold
Stay home!
This is triage, biatch
No need to see a concierge, use a kiosk
Social distance is the best shot we got
Don’t let the germ win by fiat
Stay home!
Protected “respirator style”
Or watch the curve rise up “escalator style”
Stay home!
Stop damaging MDs
And EMTs, “oxygen, they can’t breathe”
Stay home!
It’s not a joke, not a hoax
“Like a miracle”
Register to vote!
But for now, stay home!
Let the message go viral
Instead of infection, it’s so vital
To stay home!
The next victim might be you
Five percent are “guaranteed to be in ICU”
Stay home!
This is Russian Roulette
“People jumpin’ over people just to rush to the set”
Stay home!
Antivax activists
How about it, are you ready for shots after this?
Stay home!
Let the message go viral
Instead of infection, it’s so vital
To stay home!
